Apply Pie a la Sunday

Hey Friends! So a few weeks ago, Mike and I went apple picking as we do each fall (it is New York, you know). Every time, in result, we have an entire peck of apples that we stare at until they go bad and then we toss them out. This fall, I said "no more!" I was determined to eat and use every last apple. Apple picking is not just an experience, ya know - except it is.

My idea? Apple pie. A traditional autumnal go-to. After a bit of Pinteresting (i.e. I typed in "dutch apple pie" and chose the first pin that lead to a recipe) I found this pin.

But first, I had to start drinking. Why? I've never made a pie and the idea of a pie crust from scratch terrified me. Plus - I just do things better while drinking. Exhibit A:

 Not bad, but not awesome. Done while drinking just a little.

My favorite. Done by drinking just a lot.

Exhibit B: it was a Saturday. Case closed.

So first things first. Get all the ingredients together. And there were a lot of ingredients. Nothing should need this many things.

So I got everything together and threw it in bowls and bags and everything else it called for.

Except... the dough was horrible and smelled ridiculous. It didn't roll out, and was just thoroughly disgusting. I thought an entire dough out of shortening was weird, but I was going to roll with it. I had a picture of it, but apparently lost it. But, I did find another pin that said it was "perfect"... how could that be bad? Find it here.

Second go wasn't so bad - less smelly and more dough-like.

So far, looking like a legitimate pie. Not so scary at all, really.

And then I baked it.

Looking less legitimate.

But once cut up and sliced like a pie, it moved slowly but surely back into the legitimate category.

Turns out - this tastes quite good. When you add an ungodly amount of ice cream on top.

According to my husband... because I kind of don't like apple pie. Chuck that up to another pointless pin for me, but useful for my husband.

And if you thought this pin was written weirdly, differently or with a weird tone... it's because I'm trying not to wake the cat. #crazycatperson

Fall Fest Pin Win - Lighted Pumpkin

Hot off of my fail from last weekend...

Not one to give up, I went on to my second trick for the Fall theme I didn't realize I was doing - The Pumpkin Luminary

Have you ever wanted to give in to the Christmas decorations in October but don't want to be called out for being "that person"? This is the pin for you (and me, clearly.)

I mean - you know a pin is going to be awesome when it comes from This Old House. Just the thought of it makes me nostalgic for Sunday morning TV with my dad.

So, right on the heels of my fail (linked above in the very first sentence - can't believe you missed it!), I started over with a pumpkin project. I got everything together:

Turns out, the entire pumpkin punching kit was not needed. The "punches" were grouped together not only in the package, but also as a whole. So I couldn't punch just one whole - I had to punch BOTH holes. Stupid. The scooper though - that's where it is at! Definitely get yourself a scooper.

So I got started by carving my pumpkin the old-fashioned way: cut off the top and get your hands in there for a while until you're grossed out at the amount of pumpkin under your nails. Then you use the amazing scooper (or a spoon, let's get real) to scoop the rest of the guts out and make it nice.

My handy tip at this point would be to get the walls on the thinner side if it is a thick-walled pumpkin (as was mine). 

Remember to keep the seeds if you are Betty Homemaker and would like an easy, seasonal treat. I, on the other hand, threw it all out in my frustration at my last fail. So there's that.

I didn't get pictures of the next steps because it was just plain messy and I like my camera clean and working. Basically, you get out the power drill and put a drill bit on it that is just about the circumference of a mini-lightbulb. Then - go to town!

The pin has a nice little design that I'm sure you can draft up with markers, pens (or hell, crayons) and then drill holes in the pattern. I decided to go with the "balls to the wall" approach and go wild with the drill. I didn't measure, plan nor try to get them equi-distant apart - none of that fancy "I know what I'm doing" stuff. One tip that my husband gave me (other than "don't break my shit") was to not only drill the hole, but also go in and out of it a couple times to make it real clean.

Unlike your mind on that last sentence.

Once you have all your holes, make one big hole at the bottom side. The pin has the woman making it literally in the bottom of the pumpkin, but I can't wrap my head around how she would set it down and have it sit straight. This hole has to be about as big as the plug.

Then, you feed the lights through and push them through the holes from the inside of the pumpkin out. I started at the top of the pumpkin and worked my way around the circle until I got to the bottom. Depending on how your holes are spaced, you'll certainly miss a few lights here and there. It'll also get super jumbled in there, so my suggestion is to keep a hand on the light that JUST went into the pumpkin at all times, and keep moving backwards as you push the lights through the holes.

When in doubt, jam all the lights in the pumpkin and push lights through whatever hole they are closest to. You do you.

In the end, you have a rather cool looking pumpkin:

And when it's done? In all honesty, it looks super weird when it's not lit up and it's just chillin' on the table.

But when it's lit?

It's pretty damn awesome.

Alright - time for the breakdown:
- Pumpkin - $3.00 (bought it at Walmart and the price is still $3 when I went today)
- Lights - $2.49 - I also bought this at Walmart in their Christmas section. I bought the 150 mini-lights and that was plenty. You could almost go with 100 if you find them, but I wouldn't go with 50.
Total Cost: $5.50

Yes, yes, you could get yourself a carving kit for $2-$3... but just use a spoon. And yes, I (and This Old House) say to use a drill, but if you don't have a drill....

... Christmas is coming - just wait until next year. *wink*

Enjoy your weekend all :)

Fall Festival Failure - Leaf Bowl

It's been a week! One filled with lots of early mornings, late nights and a stupid cold that I can't seem to shake. Luckily, I had a relaxing weekend in front of me with Pinterest at my fingertips.

I tried for TWO this weekend. Both ended in the statement "F' you, Pinterest!". So... that's how that went.

The first I tried was this pin - The Leaf Bowl

I was super excited about this. Doesn't this look so great? And it could totally be out as general fall decor - that's a full 2-3 months before the dreaded snow hits. I went out and immediately got my supplies.

As for leaves... I had a few to choose from.

To answer your question: No. I don't rake that anymore. Ain't nobody got time for that.

So I grabbed about 30 leaves that were super pretty, brought them in the house and took off the stems. I blew up my balloon, covered it with mod podge, stuck my leaves on and covered it again in mod podge. You should definitely be reading that last sentence with the full momentum I felt while doing it.

Now that you've built up that momentum - lets kill it, much like mine was. It didn't work! I don't have pictures of this because my hands were covered with mod podge, but trust me - it was so bad. These things would not lie down for the life of them. After more than one or two creative swear words, I decided that I wouldn't give up. I was going to try again.

I thought, maybe the leaves are too dead? I did choose them from the ground. I went outside and grabbed some live leaves directly from the trees.

This worked a little bit better... but they still would't stick completely. I'd get one on there, glue it down, and then it would start drying and peel up.  Not only did the live ones not stick but since they were alive they were still waxy, so they were moving around all over this balloon. I gave up after applying about 5 leaves.

More swearing ensued - including "F you Pinterest". (Edited for appropriateness)

Full Breakdown:

Balloons: $2.49 for the bag (20 balloons)

Mod Podge: $10.99 for 16oz (this can certainly be cheaper - my JoAnn's was out of the smaller sizes)

Foam Brushes: $5.99 for 20 (why do I have to buy everything in bulk?!)

Leaves: Free.

Loss of Ego: Priceless.

Total: Who cares. This shit doesn't work.

On the bright side, when I was done I had the very relaxing task of peeling off the dried glue from my hands 3rd-grade style. Let me tell you - Mod Podge is way more satisfying than Elmer's glue.

Enjoy your weekends, friends. And don't waste your time on this. Unless you do and it works. In that case - teach me, o' wise one.